Since starting TSW, my mornings have been absolutely awful. I've never been much of a morning person to begin with, so I can't say that it's really ruined my relationship with the morning hours. No, it's just made something that was already bad into something much, much worse.
To start, the Atarax (hydroxyzine) medication, which I take for this insane itching, doesn't make me feel drowsy at bedtime (when I take it and when I actually *wish* that its drowsy effects would kick in). Instead, I end up being awake for hours past midnight. Not only am I sleep-deprived the next morning, because I stayed up so late, but it feels like the drowsy-effects of the medication are heavily upon me only then. Trial #1.
Waking up also means being aware of pain. It's a difficult thing to wake up to, pain is. I wish that I could sleep all day and forget about the intense discomfort all together. When I wake up, I feel semi-okay if I lie perfectly still but, as soon as I move my body even the slightest amount, the itch & the stinging starts up with a vengeance. Since I'm aware of this, I tend to take advantage of it, and stay absolutely still for as long as I can...but that often means that I'm staying in bed for an extra 30-40 minutes every morning. Trial #2.
Trial #3 is debating whether I should first (a.) make a cup of coffee (to help myself wake up from the intense drowsiness) or, (b.) take a shower and moisturize my super flaky, stiff skin as soon as possible. It's always a really tough call, which adds a few extra minutes to my stay-still-as-long-as-possible trial. Thankfully, when Christopher's home during these times, he'll always bring me a cup of coffee before I even have to ask. (Thank God for this husband of mine).
Trial #4 takes place after I shower. Not only does it feel like showering takes 100X more effort than it would under normal circumstances, but since I moisturize my body with super-greasy stuff (post-shower), I have to allow a little bit of extra time before putting clothes on. Otherwise my clothes end up getting very greasy and look dirty! YUCK. The longer I wait to get dressed, however, the less drive that I have to actually keep getting ready. The bed looks particularly tempting during this 20-30 minute timeframe. It's soooooo difficult convincing myself NOT to get back under the covers and just forget about the rest of the day and all of my responsibilities.
Once I finally get myself dressed after all of this, I look back at the bed one more time... And then I grab my coat, check my grease-level in the mirror and head out the door for work. I'm usually a little late nowadays. Thankfully the folks at work have been patient with me, even though they have no idea of the intense battles that I've already undergone before I sit down at my office desk.
I could probably keep ranting for a few more paragraphs--I haven't included every aspect of my morning trials and tribulations quite yet. But I'm starting to feel like this post is too complain-y. So I'm just going to stop now and feel good about having a small opportunity to vent about this aspect of TSW!
This is pretty much what my morning have been like for the past six months. Its hard for sure! I usually opt to jump in the shower first thing. Now that I am farther in though it is getting easier. I am not in nearly as much pain or as flaky in my mornings. Feel free to complain away! What your going through is not easy. I promise it gets better though! Hang in there. :)
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