Sunday blues.

Well, it's Sunday and I'm feeling pretty depressed this morning.

My sleep patterns haven't been too great this past week.  I haven't been able to fall asleep until 2 or 3am every night.  I've also been particularly itchy during the evening hours this whole week and it doesn't feel like the Atarax is helping anything right now.

So far as my skin goes, today, my face is looking pretty good again.  My neck & chest are so-so.

My arms, however, are much worse and very densely populated with bumps again.  It makes my arms look like I have red, textured sleeves.  There's very little good skin showing on my arms at this point.  The bumps are just so weird and mysterious to me.  Some of the bumps have a tiny white head on them, like pimples but very very small.  If I press on them gently with the tip of my fingernail they expel a tiny amount of clear liquid.  I can't tell if squeezing them makes things worse or not.  I have a feeling that I shouldn't get carried away with popping them (even though it's always tempting to pop things), so I'm withholding.

My legs are also starting to become rashy.  Over the past few days I've watched them go from almost perfectly clear, to patchy in areas.

I'm starting to get worried that my whole body is going to be covered pretty soon.  I was really hoping that the patches would stay sectionalized.  I was hoping that I could still have really good, healthy skin in areas, but it seems like it's not going to stay that way.

Up until this point, my scratching wasn't tearing my skin apart..... but it's starting to, especially on my arms.  I have a few cuts on my arms due to overzealous scratching.

Gah.  I'm just feeling so down right now. I've spent pretty much the entire weekend in our bedroom, trying to stay still.  I'm already dreading the week ahead of me--it's a busy week and I don't feel capable of getting through it.  Every hour, every minute is a struggle right now.  Perhaps I shouldn't think of the whole week all at once.  I should just focus on today--the next hour or two.  I think that's probably all I can handle at the moment.

I don't mean to sound so depressing, but that's my reality at the moment.  It's a difficult day.  Hoping for a better one tomorrow.